Glorifying Fathers and Mothers

 

We have always heard the 4th commandment, which is written in “Deuteronomy 5:16; Mk 7,10, etc.) “Honor your father and mother””; although the climax of the command can be read in Paul’s letter to the believers Ephesians 6:1-4:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “REVEIN YOUR PARENTS (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO YOU WILL BE HEALTHY AND ALWAYS LONG LIVE ON EARTH.

The Catechism of our Church sheds light on several related points and sheds light on many truths, including this one.
“According to the fourth commandment, God wants us to honor, after him, our parents and those over whom he has authority for our good” (Catechism of the Catholic Church-CEC, n. 2248 ). “The fourth commandment sheds light on other relationships in society. In our brothers and sisters we see the children of our parents; among our cousins, the descendants of our ancestors; in our compatriots, the children of our country; in the baptized, the children of our mother, the Church; In every human being, his son or daughter wants to be called “Our Father”. Therefore, our relationships with others must be recognized as belonging to the individual order. The neighbor is not an “individual” of the human community; it is “someone” who, by his origin, is always “closer” for one reason or another, deserving of special attention and respect” (CCC, n. 2212). “Children owe their parents respect, gratitude, only obedience and help. Filial piety fosters harmony in all family life” (CCC, n. 2251).
“When in the home of their parents, children must obey all they have for their own sake and that of the family. “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is pleasing to God in the Lord” (Col 3:20; cf. Eph 6, 1) (…) Obedience to parents ends ends when the children are liberated, but there is no more respect for the parents, which remains forever. Indeed, this is rooted in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit” (CCC, n. 2217).
“The Fourth Commandment reminds children of legal age of their responsibilities to their parents. To the extent possible, they should help them materially and spiritually in their old age, illness, and times of loneliness or despair. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude (cf. Mk 7:10-12). “God honors fathers in children and affirms the rights of mothers over their children. Who worships the father of atonement; like a lover who honors his mother. Whoever honors his father will have the satisfaction of his children, and on the day of his prayer he will be heard. Whoever honors his father will have long life, and whoever obeys the Lord gives peace to his mother” (Sc 3:2-6).
“Son, take care of me in my old age, and in life don’t make me sad. Even if he has lost his mind, be tolerant, do not despise him in good health. Whoever leaves his father is a blasphemer, cursed by the Lord, and angers his mother” (Si 3, 12-13, 16)” (CEC, No. 2218).
And I want to start with that last part, written in the book of Sirach (or Ecclesiastes, as it is better called) “take care of your father when he is old”, oh! Now that I’ve “almost” entered this stage, I’ve found myself very reflective. Yesterday I was having lunch with my mother… I saw her hand, the face, the hair that once was a long brown-blond hair, today is a short hair, totally gray…and who once walked at a fast pace (as in the tollbooth) now her gait is slow, as if one foot was asking permission to the other…one complaint, and another, and another; until I realize that it is not only her, that there are many of the same age, and that I myself, also, in many circumstances, walk that same path.
“…even if I have lost my mind, be indulgent…”, I look at myself and I observe myself and I do the same with my relatives, my siblings, my friends, and especially with my intimates, 45,50,60 years old, etc., and I realize that we have started (some time ago) with our lack of mental agility, and memory, however, we are so quick for criticism, for mockery, sarcasm and lack of “indulgence”.

Once, we ourselves were quick, agile, quick to react, quick to think and move again…but also the unstoppable time has gone by, and what once was, is no longer, nor ever will be.

Going back to my mother…I saw some grooves that the years have left…The most vivid memories of her, are of a “woman of struggle”. Being a small-town woman, and with little schooling, married at 17 (to a man more game and more experienced in things of life than she)…she clung to us tooth and claw to save us (especially me) from death.

Among those distant memories (of my early childhood), I remember going to several masses together with my maternal grandmother, they dressed in black and with mantillas covering their heads, (I in little pants and T-shirt), to the parish of St. Anthony of Padua, (which at the time, seemed to me the size of St. Peter’s Basilica, with towering images, including of course that of St. Anthony of Padua).
I don’t remember my father accompanying us at that time because I don’t think the old man was into it and because it was much later that he reached Jesus Christ.

In short, my mother and my mother’s mother, took me to church, to see Jesus, and to contemplate the anthropomorphic copies of men and women who witnessed his saving love. And it is very likely that it is the same story that is repeated in many of us.

I think I need to visit my mother more…I think I need to return some of the much love I received from her. Some time ago I heard that between parent and child, “there is one who loves and the other who lets himself be loved”, and it is that, for quite obvious reasons, Human Love transcends vertically. However, some time ago, for different reasons, I did not visit her at home, I did not eat at her table, I did not lie down on her bed holding her hand (without letting go for a minute). Several hours went by…and my heart and soul overflowed. I know that we both enjoyed that experience of “love”; at the moment of leaving, that silhouette (of a loving and aging woman) that did not leave the door until I had already disappeared around the first corner.
I came all the way, with a mixture of sorrow, joy and hope to love her and visit her again very soon…before, somehow, she is no longer “with us”.

JC